she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
