Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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