I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
