i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
