The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
