Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
