D3 body, D1 cock
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
