Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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