been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
