I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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