Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
