He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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