how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
