i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
