He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
