there was a trapeze. enough said
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
