i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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