My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
