I'm so fucking centered right now
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
