He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize