ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
