i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
