No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if only i could text you this smell
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
