My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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