He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
