my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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