Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
