MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
