it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
