a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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