Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
