he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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