He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
