You work out of a Hotel?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
