So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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