Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
