It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize