I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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