It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
