so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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