Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
