why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
