I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
