Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
