The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
