Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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