put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I will die if light touches me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
