i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
