i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
