this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
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