Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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