dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
