We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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