She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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