Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
