I wish I could teleport
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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