Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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